


Gone, But Never Forgotten

by HallowsEve



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Alec Lightwood, F/M, Good Parent Magnus Bane, Grieving Magnus Bane, Grieving Max Lightwood-Bane, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Post-Alec Lightwood's Death, Protective Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-28 17:20:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16246277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HallowsEve/pseuds/HallowsEve
Summary: Max Lightwood-Bane wasn’t stupid. He knew someday his papa may find someone else and may fall in love again, he just never expected it would hurt nearly as much as it does to see his papa with anyone other than his dad. – AU: Future ‘verse





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, first off, CALM DOWN MALEC SHIPPERS! I’m a realist, not an idealist. I look at things with facts and as much as I’d love to just imagine they lived happily ever after, I don’t really see Alec as someone who would enjoy immortality, but I also don’t see Alec being okay with Magnus giving up his. I also can’t ignore the fact that technically, Magnus has demon blood in him. I imagine that if he were to die, he wouldn’t be going to the same afterlife as Alec (who has angel blood in him) so I can see Alec being adamant that Magnus not give up his immortality as he’d rather Magnus live and be happy versus go to wherever the hell part-demon people go. Lots of Malec mentioned and totally Malec endgame, but technically, Magnus DOES have another. She’s really great, I promise and the ending will hopefully make you happy…ish? Sorry! Just be forewarned and no hate if you don’t like it. Don’t like, don’t read, it’s truly that simple.
> 
> Also, no anonymous commenting on my fics. Sorry guys, this fandom has a LOT of trolls apparently and I’ve seen some super nasty comments on fics so my feelings are you want to talk the talk, fine, but at least have the guts to do it with an account. The trolls have absolutely turned me off writing in this fandom, which sucks because I love it so much and I’ve been in it a while, but alas, I’m human and have zero patience for that BS. Constructive reviews are awesome. Hell, even disagreeing with me is totally cool, but be respectful and don’t be a “stan.” No character in this series is flawless, let’s not pretend they are. 
> 
> I tagged this for both the books and show because I am pulling characters from the book series, but in my head Alec is Matt (except I do mentally give him blue eyes, come on, it’s a big thing in the books) and Magnus is Harry because those two boys are AMAZING portraying these characters and their chemistry is phenomenal. So yeah, my mind sort of straddles the two universes. 
> 
> Finally, not beta read. All mistakes are my own and I’m not going over this for the millionth time so excuse any typos. Hopefully there aren’t too many.

2193 – 132 years later

If anyone asked Max Michael Lightwood-Bane, which no one actually did, how he felt about his papa’s recent comings and goings, he’d have some rather colorful words for them regarding the topic.

Logically, he knew that Magnus hadn’t been a monk when he met his dad, Alec. He knew that Magnus had loved before he met his dad, but somehow, somewhere, Max adopted the notion that his dad was the love of his papa’s life. Growing up in the Lightwood-Bane house hadn’t always been easy, but it had always been full of love.

It wasn’t perfect of course. There were the arguments Magnus and Alec had and there had been the awful summer of 2034 where Alec had actually moved back to the Institute for a couple of months, but overall, it had been wonderful growing up with his two dads.

Magnus was always so in love with Alec, even as the Shadowhunter aged, maybe even more so especially as he aged. Even when they walked down the streets and people assumed that Magnus was Alec’s son and then years later his grandson, Magnus’ love for Alec never faded. Their love was something of myths. Something you heard existed, but never actually witnessed in person. So it had been easy, perhaps too easy, for Max to develop the notion that as much as Magnus was the love of Alec’s life, Alec too was the love of Mangus’.

Which is why he was not adjusting to the latest development very well. Hell, he wasn’t adjusting to it at all. Max was hardly a little boy anymore. He had just recently celebrated his 184th birthday, but despite being nearly 2 centuries old and having felt the miserable pain of loving and losing, this latest development was hitting Max hard.

He stared at the letter in his hands with a frown. A letter from a papa he hadn’t spoken to in 6 months because the last time they had spoken it had ended in both warlocks nearly throwing spells and required the cause of their argument to magically intervene.

The source of Max’s agony was Callista Makos. A beautiful warlock of Greek ancestry who was shockingly older than Magnus and apparently his papa’s newest love. Max had written it off as a fling when Magnus first told Max about Callista, but 6 months prior Magnus had announced that Callista was officially moving in and something in Max’s mind just snapped. Magnus was, despite his reputation, a very loyal man. When he loved, he loved fiercely and the person who was blessed enough to receive that level of loyalty was someone who was worthy of it. He didn’t give that type of love away easy which was why Max was struggling so hard with this.

His dad had been gone nearly 132 years, but somehow it didn’t feel that long. He could still vividly recall the cries his papa made when Rafe and Rafe’s eldest daughter tried to pull a hysterical Magnus from the bed Alec was laying on. He could still vividly recall the pain in his own heart when the steele touched Alec’s white shrouded body and then turned to ash to be interned in the City of Bones. He could still picture his papa lying on the floor of their apartment drunk out of his mind and clutching Alec’s old sweater like it was his lifeline. They were all horrible and painful memories, but ones Max could recall with little to no effort, which made facing a smiling Magnus with his arms around Callista absolute misery. How could Magnus be so happy and clearly so in love when all these memories race to the front of Max’s mind with no effort? How could Magnus have forgotten his dad so easily? Alec had only 1 romantic love his entire life and that was Magnus. How could Magnus find someone else knowing that?

Max put the unopened letter back on the table next to him, ignoring that it had been over 2 weeks since he received it and ignoring the call to open it and just hear his papa out and opted to take a stroll instead. Perhaps walking around Central Park would clear his mind.

* * *

It was a beautiful, yet awfully humid September day making Max regret his fashion choice of a long sleeved black silk shirt and matching tailored black slacks. The sky was clear and the birds chirped, but it still couldn’t pull Max from his own restless thoughts. He knew somewhere deep down he was being childish. He should be happy to see his papa happy shouldn’t he? He shouldn’t want his papa to live in sadness for the rest of time just because Max was struggling with this. He should welcome Callista into his life as well since she was important enough to Magnus that they were living together. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. It felt like accepting Callista was somehow betraying his dad. As if giving Magnus his stamp of approval would break his dad’s heart. It wasn’t logical, but it was still how he felt.

Max was so deep in his own mind he didn’t hear the approaching footsteps or the feminine voice call his name. It wasn’t until he felt a soft hand on his arm that he was able to shake the cloud that had settled in his mind.

“Max, are you okay?”

Max shook his head and looked up, a familiar face looking at him in worry. Objectively, Callista was a beautiful woman. She had smooth olive-toned skin and dark brown eyes that bordered on black. Her raven-colored waist length hair was loose as it always was, soft curls shimmering near blue in the sunlight. Her gills and teal neck scales, her warlock mark, were hidden away under a sheer floral scarf, but still apparent to Max only because he knew they were there.

“Max?” Callista’s tone sharpened slightly when Max still didn’t speak.

“Yeah, sorry.” Max offered a half smile that he was sure looked more to be a grimace. “Just lost in thought.”

Callista smiled affectionately, her eyes radiating warmth. “Like papa, like son.”

Hearing mention of Magnus caused Max to wince, the motion making Callista frown.

“Yeah, well, it was good to see you. I should – I have things – “

Max let his sentence hang in the air as he turned around to head back the direction he had just come from. He needed distance from Callista. Not that she had done anything wrong, but seeing her just reminded him of his papa and reminded him of what a jerk of a son he had been the last few months. He wasn’t ready to face Magnus or the reality of the situation. Childish or not, he just couldn’t.

“Max.”

Max stopped with a deep sigh, though refused to turn around to the rapidly approaching steps. He knew Magnus would be disappointed in how he was behaving, but that wasn’t enough of a reason to act like the gentleman Magnus and Alec had raised him to be.

Callista came to a stop in front of the younger warlock, her deep purple sundress shimmering along with her hair. She was shorter than Max by a few inches and definitely far slender in frame, but her face was one of determination. Despite their obvious size difference she clearly was not going to back down from whatever she had to say. It just pissed Max off even more.

“Max, I know it’s not my place –“

“It’s really not.” Max interrupted harshly, glaring down at the woman. “So just stay out of it. It’s between my papa and me.”

“Magnus misses you!” The woman replied immediately, unmoved by the venom in Max’s tone. “It’s been 6 months! When are you going to talk to him?”

“How is this any of your concern? It’s a family matter!” Max barked and shifted to move around Callista, but found his steps halted. He had to clench his hands into fists to resist the urge to strike back at the warlock.

“I care about Magnus, Max, and I also care about you. You both are miserable not speaking, so I do believe that someone has to say something in order to get you two stubborn warlocks’ to pull your heads out of your asses!” Callista’s voice was stern and Max had flashback to his own dad’s determined tone, the memory making the ache in his chest near crippling.

“It’s none of your business, warlock.” Max bit out through clenched teeth.

“It became my business when Magnus asked me to move in, Max.” Callista sighed and Max felt the magic she had been using to hold him where he stood fade away. “Your papa is miserable without you in his life. Please, just call him.”

Max turned in time to watch the woman walk away and he felt the anger grow even hotter in his chest. How dare she try to tell him what to do!

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Max barked at Callista’s back, ignoring the looks he was receiving from people walking past them. “You don’t get to tell me what to do!”

Callista slowly turned around and Max could not pinpoint the expression on her face. It was a cross between sadness and understanding and something akin to sympathy and he genuinely hated it. He didn’t like how patient she was behaving. Why couldn’t she just fight back? Throw a spell at him?

“I’m not trying to replace Alec, Max. I can never replace your dad nor do I want to.”

Max detested the burn he felt in his eyes and the mass that formed in his throat. He opened his mouth to spout off a sarcastic reply, but found he had none. Instead he just looked down at his feet and chewed his bottom lip, wishing, not for the first time, that words came easier to him. He was 184 for crying out loud and yet he felt like a child, withering under the expression of an older and wiser adult.

“400 years ago I lost the man I loved. He was a mundane and despite our vastly different backgrounds, he accepted me and loved all of me. He was my Alec. I know, better than anyone, what it’s like to try to live in a world without the one who gave you purpose. Who was your very reason for waking up every day.”

Max slowly raised his head to look at Callista and was surprised to see that despite the emotion in her voice, her eyes were dry and her face serene.

“I love Magnus. I do, Max. I would fight for your papa with everything that I have, but he’s not a replacement for Kristos. He will never be. I still feel the ache in my heart on the anniversary of our meeting, our wedding anniversary and on the anniversary he was taken from me. I can still remember what it was like to be held in his arms and feel his lips upon mine. These memories are seared into my soul and always will be.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Max asked nearly breathless, somewhat shocked how close Callista now was despite her not moving. He had not even realized he was slowly walking towards her.

“Because I want you to know that I do understand your feelings. I do not have any children. I was not blessed like your papa and dad were, but I can imagine that no matter how much time passes it would still hurt them to see me move forward.” Callista smiled sadly at Max before sighing softly. “Just call Magnus, please. Not speaking with you is killing him.”

Max swallowed roughly against the lump in his throat and ignored the burning in his eyes.

“I feel like I’m betraying my dad.” He blurted out, feeling like a small weight had been lifted from his heart at the admission. “It’s just, my dad loved papa so much. It was gross to watch as a kid, but as I got older and watched dad age and see how still in love they were it just makes me angry to think my papa has forgotten that.”

Max wiped his face roughly, embarrassed at the tears that were now falling, but there was no judgment in Callista’s brown eyes.

“He hasn’t.” She said confidently. “I promise you that Alec is never far from your papa’s mind. No matter how much time passes. I won’t say I understand exactly how you feel, but I can promise you one thing and that’s your papa will never love another the way he loved your dad.”

“How can you be so sure?” Max whispered harshly, the flame of anger in his gut refusing to die.

“I just am.” Callista smiled gently and glanced down at her watch, clearly checking the time. “I have an appointment that I need to get to, but if you ever want to talk, Max, please know my door is always open and call your papa.”

Callista turned and walked away from Max, leaving the younger warlock to his thoughts. He wanted to like her, he really did. She was a kind, soft spoken woman who rarely ever got very angry, but he just couldn’t. No matter how wonderful she was, it still felt like betrayal to his dad and that was something he didn’t know how to overcome.

* * *

<<Stop being an idiot, you idiot, and talk to your papa!>>

Max sighed as he read Alex’s message. Cousins were the worst. Technically Alex wasn’t a first cousin or even a second cousin. He was the Shadowhunter descendant of his Aunt Izzy and Uncle Simon, but still family none-the-less. That was one thing Magnus had always said to Max, no matter how much time passes and how many generations come, and sadly go, anyone with the Lightwood blood running through their veins was family. Same for his Aunt Clary and Uncle Jace’s descendants too. And that went even more so for his nephews and nieces, so many grand and great’s at the front of those titles that he couldn’t even remember how many generations there have been. Any descendant of his brother Rafe, he would protect with his life.

The blue-skinned warlock shoved his phone into his pocket and stared at the door in front of him with trepidation. He knew his papa had to know he was standing there. The wards around the building would have notified Magnus to his own son’s arrival, but Max appreciated that Magnus left the illusion of choice there. He could walk away and pretend his papa never knew he had been standing there even if they both knew that wasn’t true.

It was evening now. The sun was setting and it had been several hours since his run-in with Callista, but Max was still unsure about seeing his papa. Would they just argue as they did before? Would it become even worse? Hell, was it possible it could even get any worse?

Channeling the bravery he knew his own dad would have, Max raised his hand and knocked, unsurprised when it opened the moment his knuckles met the door. Magnus stood on the other side of the door attempting to appear aloof, but the slight tremble in his smile didn’t escape Max’s notice.

“Max! What a surprise! Come in.” Magnus turned and walked back into the apartment, leaving the door, and the choice to leave, open to Max. The younger warlock took a deep breath and entered the home he once called his own, following his papa to the living room.

“Can I interest you in a drink?” Magnus called over his shoulder as he poured himself one.

“Sure.” Max nodded as he looked around, immediately noticing the lack of a female presence. “Is Callista here?”

The gentle clank of glass signaled that Magnus had finished pouring their drinks and Max turned to face him, accepting the crystal glass with a small smile. Magnus smiled at Max, but his smile was more sad than anything. 

“No. She won’t be home until tomorrow. Please, have a seat.” Magnus sat down on his favorite chair and crossed his legs. As Magnus drank carefully, Max took the moment to really look at his papa. Magnus was always dressed so well, always in fashion and accessorized to the nines, but tonight he was very casual in plain black skinny jeans and a very familiar faded black shirt that had faded so much it was more brown than anything. It hit Max right in his chest to realize that Magnus was wearing one of his dad’s old shirts. He also noticed that Magnus’s hair was slicked back and there was absolutely no makeup on him whatsoever. Even his nails were without polish.

“Is everything okay?” Max asked despite himself. He may not care for the relationship Magnus had with Callista, but he also didn’t want his papa to be hurt either.

“Of course, Blueberry.” Magnus smiled gently at his son before his eyes dropped to the glass in his hands. “I have to say I’m surprised you’re here, happy of course, but just surprised.”

Max took a healthy swig of his alcohol, delaying his response as much as possible because he wasn’t quite sure what to say. He, himself, wasn’t even sure what exactly drew him to come to his papa’s place tonight. Not when the anger still weighed on him heavily.

“You don’t have to talk.” Magnus provided gently as though reading his son’s thoughts. “We can just enjoy a drink and not say anything at all if you wish.”

Max shrugged helplessly and found his eyes drifting about the room, resting only long enough on Magnus to see the concern in the man’s face before moving to the table that rest next to him. He was surprised to see a very familiar royal blue photo album sitting open.

“Why are you looking at pictures of dad?” Max blurted out, still lacking the social grace his papa had. Despite being a warlock like Magnus, Max tended to be more socially awkward like his dad. It was something Magnus had always found endearing.

Magnus glanced down at the album with sadness radiating so thickly it left a sour twinge in the air.

“It’s the anniversary of the day Alexander and I met.” Magnus’s tone was soft and laced with longing. Magnus carefully set his glass down on the table and picked up the album, lying it on his crossed legs with such care that Max hadn’t seen him offer to even the most ancient and important texts. Max observed Magnus closely as the man touched the pictures with such reverence. “There are 3 days out of the year that I allow myself to…” Magnus trailed off, waving his hand about himself and the room around him when words failed him.

“The day you and dad met, got married and the day he died.” Max stated and Magnus nodded silently though there was no question in Max’s tone. Max felt his heart break for his papa slightly when he realized why Callista wasn’t here. “You guys spend these days alone, don’t you?”

Magnus’ eyes rose to his son and with a somber expression, he nodded.

“Did Callista tell you I ran into her at Central Park this afternoon?” The younger warlock glanced up at his papa from under his lashes, feeling his cheeks tinge slightly with an embarrassed blush. He felt guilt at how rudely he had behaved towards the warlock his father was now dating.

“No.” Magnus cleared his throat gently. “We haven’t spoken since this morning. She scheduled some appointments overseas for the day and evening. Though, I’m not sure she would have mentioned it tomorrow.”

“Why not? I was rude to her.” Max toed the ornate Persian rug resting on the floor as he had done as a small child when in trouble.

Magnus shocked Max when he chuckled affectionately and his face split into an amused smile.

“Oh, Blueberry, she is older than even I. It takes much to get Calli worked up. She most likely dismissed your behavior moments after it happened. Though, I do request that if you are angry with me, you in fact deal with me directly and not misdirect your anger to her.”

Max placed his glass on the table next to him and began fidgeting with his hands in his lap feeling much like the scolded child. He hated it when he disappointed his dads. That was always the worst.

“How do you know I’m _not_ angry with her?” He was being petulant, he realized, but he wasn’t one to lie and admit emotional maturity beyond what he actually had.

“Max,” Magnus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You are my son. Please give me more credit than that.”

Max let out a frustrated huff and rose, pacing the room agitatedly. Words failed him. Though he knew exactly how he felt, he was unsure how to put it into words that his papa would understand. Magnus had moved on, Max hadn’t. How could he? Alec was his _dad_. Though he shared the trait of being a warlock with Magnus, he had always been closer to Alec and his loss had left Max feeling almost orphaned. How could he look Magnus in the eye and say that and not hurt his papa even more?

“I’m pissed off.” Max finally settled on, though despite his words his tone was soft. He clenched his hands at his sides and focused on the rug, unable to look Magnus in the eye. “I miss dad every day. Every. Single. Day. And you’ve just…moved on. How could you do that?”

The room was eerie silent, only the sounds of Max’s harsh breathing as he struggled to gain control over his emotions could be heard. When the silence became too heavy, Max finally found the courage to glance at his papa and his knees nearly buckled at the pure agony in Magnus’ cat eyes. Twin tear streams streaked down the older warlock’s caramel kissed skin and his bottom lip trembled.

“What about this,” He gestured to himself frantically, “says I’ve moved on? That I don’t miss Alexander with every ounce of my being?”

“What about Callista?” Max snapped back, the anger burning his throat. “You obviously have moved on enough to take her to bed and don’t deny it, I’ve seen you two in person. The way you gravitate towards each other. The gentle kisses and I’ve gotten here early enough without warning to know you sneak out of the bedroom so I can’t see her in bed. In the same bed –“

Max cut off roughly and turned his back to Magnus, wiping at the tears on his face angrily. His arms tingled with uncontrolled fury, red sparks dancing from his fingertips. He was dangerously close to losing control of his magic if he didn’t reel in his feelings and quick.

“I don’t share my master bed with her.” Magnus’s tone was so soft that Max nearly missed it, but he had heard and the incredulous expression he shot over his shoulder told Magnus the same. “I don’t. Much like we don’t share the master bed at her Greece estate. I won’t insult you and say she and I are never intimate, we are, but our relationship is not what you are thinking it is. I sneak out of my bedroom so you can’t see it and that despite the years that have passed that I have yet to change a single thing about it.”

Max stared at Magnus in disbelief. Magnus was one who redecorated nearly seasonally to match his moods so it was damn near impossible to believe that in 132 years his papa hadn’t changed one single thing.

“Go look.” Magnus huffed with an aggravated wave of his hand. “Witness my shame if you’re so inclined.”

Max set his jaw and stomped over to Magnus’ bedroom and threw the door open, hoping to call Magnus’ bluff, though why he wanted to continue fighting with his papa was beyond him. He was just so….angry.

Though like cold water upon his back, his anger promptly left his body, leaving him breathless when Max stood in the doorway to the room that his dads had shared and it felt like he had stepped back in time. The room was exactly the same. Down to the book his dad had been reading on the bedside table, bookmark still marking the page Alec had been on. Though there was no way the sheets could be the exact ones, everything was the same. Magnus had used his magic to glamour any new additions to fit in with the room that had yet to change and it killed Max to realize he had been so terribly wrong. He had always assumed Magnus was hiding Callista in his bed that he never realized perhaps he wanted to hide something else from his son. The room was always closed off, much like the spare bedroom and Max had never invaded his papa’s privacy or questioned why. Now he knew and it made him feel like dirt on the bottom of his shoe.

“I’ve tried so many times.” Magnus’ pained tone turned Max’s attention to his papa. It hurt like hell to see Magnus looking so stricken. “I’ve tried redecorating, but every time I try, I can’t. I can’t erase what we shared and I don’t want to. Alexander was the love of my life, Max. I have changed everything else around here, but I _can’t_ change that room. I just can’t. I still have his clothes in the closet and dresser, magic protecting them from wasting away.”

Max chewed his bottom lip as Magnus looked down at the album in his lap, caressing the page lovingly as tears streamed down his face and his shoulders shook with effort from his sobs. Max wondered how he had been so blind not to see how utterly depressed his papa had become.

“She’s my friend.” Magnus whispered painfully. “I love her, I do, but not as I loved Alexander and she knows that. I swear, Max, Calli knows and she’s okay with it. I was calcifying and your dad and I had fought so much about this and I wanted to calcify. I did. I wanted to just stop feeling, but Alexander refused to accept that. He made me promise, he made me _swear_ that I would find love again. I knew I could never, ever, love another as I did him, but Calli, it’s not like that.”

Max rushed across the room and kneeled before Magnus, pulling his papa roughly into his arms and hugging him tightly as Magnus sobbed on shoulder, the album pressed tightly between them. It wasn’t comfortable and Max knew he’d have a bruise where the corner was digging into his ribs, but he could heal it. He would never ask his papa to let it go.

The two warlocks remained in that position until Max’s back ached from the odd angle and his black silk shirt was soaked with Magnus’ tears. Slowly, ever so slowly, Magnus’ sobs tapered off until he was quietly sniffling. Only when Magnus gently pulled did Max let go though. He would let his papa cling to him as long as he needed. When Magnus finally pulled back and looked at Max, his eyes were red rimmed and swollen, but he looked slightly better if that was to be believed. Like he had cried all his pain out.

No words were spoken as Max and Magnus once again turned their attention to the album in Magnus’ lap and Max was surprised to see that it wasn’t a photo of Alec from his youth that Magnus was so focused upon. It was a random picture that had been taken candidly at the Christmas party Magnus and Alec threw in 2034. It was coincidently the first party thrown after Magnus and Alec reconciled. That had been a scary time for Max and Rafe, worried that whatever fight had brewed between the men had been so bad that it would tear their family apart. In the picture though, there was no hint to that dark summer. Alec looked completely carefree and relaxed with his greying hair and laugh lines around his mouth and eyes. Magnus was wrapped in Alec’s arms smiling at his Alec and looking carefree and so utterly smitten with the Shadowhunter. It was like nothing else existed in the world or even that room except the two men in the picture and it warmed Max’s heart because that’s exactly how he remembered his dads’ relationship.

“Why this picture?” Max asked gently, curious what about it had drawn Magnus’ attention so determinedly.

“Your dad and I had gone through a rough time the months before.” Magnus sighed, slumping back in the chair looking exhausted. “There were moments where I thought for sure we would not make it.”

“I remember. Dad moved back to the institute.” Max focused on the picture, shivering slightly at the memory of Alec storming into the institute with his bag thrown over his shoulder and face etched with anger. “Rafe and I never understood what caused the fight.”

“I wanted to give up my immortality.” Magnus confessed, raising his hand when Max’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “Obviously I haven’t, but I found a spell that would allow me to remove my immortality, but not lose my magic. It would allow me to grow old with Alexander and eventually die.”

“Why would dad be mad about that though?” Max’s brows furrowed in confusion.

Magnus looked at his son sadly, his hand reaching up to cup his cheek affectionately. “We’re part demon, Max. You and I. Even if I were to give up my immortality, I couldn’t follow your dad to Heaven. Not with my demon blood.”

Max stared at Magnus utterly speechless. What the hell could he even say to that?!

“I didn’t care. I just wanted to, for once, grow old with someone and I knew I would hate living without Alexander so I was ready to give immortality up for him. Your dad was quite angry at that. He never wanted to live forever, believe me, I tried, but he had made peace with me doing so. He wanted me to move on and find someone else. He said if I can’t follow him to Heaven then he wanted me to create one here, with you.” Magnus closed his eyes and his face looked pained. “I was so furious he would condemn me to a life without him and I told him I would take my immortality with or without his approval. The argument spiraled from there and we both said things we didn’t mean and I threw your dad out.”

“What?!” Max exclaimed in shock. They had always thought Alec chose to go back to the institute.

“Yes, not my finest moment I assure you.” Magnus dropped his hand and went back to caressing the picture lovingly. “I asked him that night to come home. I apologized, I pleaded, I even begged and, Max, I don’t beg anyone, but I did. I knew Alexander wouldn’t give up his mortality and I didn’t want to waste _any_ time fighting over this, but your dad refused.”

“You’re both so stubborn.” The blue warlock mumbled under his breath.

“We are.” Magnus smiled gently. “Your dad refused to move home until I agreed, swore to him, that I would move on and find love after him. He said he couldn’t bear the thought of me calcifying or dying and not being able to follow him to Heaven. I refused, of course because no one tells me what to do, but then your dad told me the only way he could ever rest easy is knowing that I would do my best to create a Heaven here with you. So I did. I swore to Alexander that I would and when I started to calcify again, I confessed all this to Callista.”

“Did you know her when dad was alive?” Max asked curiously.

“I did. We were casual friends, though our friendship didn’t really blossom into anything close until after Alexander died. She understood my pain. The agony of loving a mortal and letting them go.” Magnus sniffled inelegantly and ran a hand through his simple hair. “Tessa also understood, but with Callista it was different. We didn’t have much by way of a shared past, but this…this pain was something we both understood. Of wanting to try to keep on living, but feeling as though your heart was incomplete. I owed it to Alexander to try and Calli reminded me that I agreed to find love again, but I never agreed to what type of love. She’s a wonderful friend and a great companion, but it will never be anything more. We find release with one another with no pressure for anything beyond that. It would be unfair for me to get involved with another knowing I could never give them my whole heart as they could to me. With Callista there is no worry of that for her heart is as broken as mine.”

“Does she talk about her husband with you?” Max sat back on the floor and leaned against the chair, resting his head on the arm and smiled gently when Magnus reached down to ruffle his hair as he had done when Max was a child.

“She does as I share my stories of Alexander with her. It’s a relief, honestly, there is no jealousy or anger about it. I encourage her to discuss Kristos and she returns that favor. It helps ease the pain just slightly.”

Max nodded, understanding finally just what it was between Callista and Magnus and he felt guilt too, guilt over treating Magnus so horribly about it. How could he deny his papa what little happiness he had managed to find?  
  
“I’m sorry, papa, for how I’ve acted.” Max whispered shamefully, looking down at the floor. “It wasn’t fair.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Magnus agreed lightly. “But I understand, Max. I really do and so does Callista.”

“I just miss him so much. Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe.” He trailed off when the lump in his throat grew too big.

“I know, Blue, I know. I wish I could say it gets easier, but I’m not sure that it does.” Magnus whispered before leaning over and gently placing a kiss on the top of Max’s blue curls.

Silence once again blanketed the room, but this time it was not as heavy and uncomfortable. Just a peaceful quiet with each warlock lost in their own thoughts. After several minutes Max glanced up at his papa and smiled slightly when he noticed Magnus still hadn’t flipped the page and was still staring at the candid photo of them.

“Do you look at it to remind you of your promise to him?” Max asked gently, curious what was going on inside his papa’s head.

“That’s some of it, yes. To remind me of the happiness we once shared and the promises I made to him.” Magnus sighed wistfully before his small smile turned positively feral. “And because your dad was also a hot silver fox. I thought he was sexy in his youth, but let me tell you, young Alexander Lightwood had nothing on middle-aged Alexander Lightwood-Bane. Still firm body, but he wore that salt and pepper hair so well and he oozed confidence and it was so hot walking down the street with him and all the women and men looking so appreciatively at his ass – “

“PAPA!” Max cut in shrilly, his face pulled up in disgust. “EW!”

Magnus laughed, an actual full body laugh, at his son’s total disgust and felt for the first time since the death of his beloved husband that just maybe things might be okay….someday….

* * *

 

((…MEANWHILE...))

“You’re absolutely, 110% sure?” Callista glanced up at Tessa, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She and Tessa had been pouring over texts and ancient tomes for months and it was too much to think they had finally found an answer.

“Nothing is 110%, Calli, we can’t even hope for 75%, but given the facts I think it might work.” Tessa chewed her bottom lip, eyes flitting between the two texts in front of her.

“We have to tell him. Magnus would want to know.” Callista began gathering her belongings and shoving them into her charmed handbag, uncaring that nothing was going back in organized. She could straighten it up later.

“You’re going to run off and tell him now?” Tessa asked incredulously.

“Yes!” Callista exclaimed, her brown eyes wide and glassy. “Lilith, I cannot keep this from him.”

Tessa’s eyes softened as she looked at her longtime friend, gently placing a hand on Callista’s slender one. 

“I didn’t suggest otherwise, but Callista, think this through. We cannot tell Magnus until we are sure it will work. I cannot give my friend false hope. I just can’t.” Tessa sat down on her chair and began writing again, hoping her friend had understood her words.

“Asmodeus was a fallen angel, Tessa, an _angel._ ” The Greek warlock flipped through her notebook wildly, finding the page she was looking for and slamming it down atop the notepad Tessa had been writing on. “Any descendant from an _angel_ has the right to the trials.”

Tessa looked up at Callista with wide eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. 

“As long as we can remove Magnus’s magic along with his immortality, he’ll be mortal and – “ 

“Heaven will _have_ to let him attend the trials.” Callista finished excitedly. “He can join Alec in Heaven!”


	2. Together At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye's are never easy, no matter how much time you have to prepare, but all Magnus can hope is he's making the right choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I am completely overwhelmed by the positive response this piece has received. Thank you all so much. Here is the 2nd (and final) part of this piece. Warning, it will be emotional, but that was inevitable given the subject matter. Magnus may also appear to be a little off-center emotionally, but can you blame him? This is like a never ending rollercoaster and it’s Alec’s turn to be the rock. 
> 
> Also, there’s a chance I should probably tag a crossover situation here, but meh. To be honest, it’s not really a crossover per se, it’s just now that I have made the link of a certain character looking/acting a certain way, I can’t undo that connection. I’ll be curious to see how many pick it up….

“Max…Blueberry, I need you to be completely honest with me. If you are even a fraction unsure about this, I need your words now.” Magnus held his son’s face in his hands, his cat eyes and face etched with worry. Max stared back at his papa sadly, blue eyes leaking hot tears.

“I’ll miss you, papa, so much.” Max whispered finally and rushed forward to wrap his papa tightly in his arms. The two warlocks hugged tightly, gripping each other fiercely.

Tessa stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on Magnus’ shoulder.

“We don’t have to do it today, Magnus. We can wait until you’re ready.” She whispered kindly, ignoring Max shaking his head on his papa’s shoulders.

"No.” Max choked out, his voice laced with pain. “You have to take your chance, papa. If you want to try, I’m…I’ll be okay.”

Magnus looked over Max’s shoulders to Callista, unsurprised to see her smiling back at him. She was such a kind-hearted woman and despite the knowing he had a small chance to be reunited with his beloved Alexander and how utterly happy that would make him, he would still miss her terribly. While he may not love her with the intensity that he loved his husband, Callista was still very important to him.

“I’ll watch over him, Magnus, you have my word.” She answered his unspoken question.

“We both will.” Tessa quickly confirmed, now rubbing a softly crying Magnus’ back. “Max will never be without family.”

Magnus nodded, unable to speak past the horrible lump in his throat. Magnus clung to his youngest child tightly, one hand rubbing his son’s sobbing back and the other caressing his curls so gently. It was something they did even back when he was an infant and needed to be comforted. They embraced for what felt too little of time before Max finally stopped crying and pulled back, looking at his papa with a watery smile.

“I’ll be okay, papa, I promise.” He reassured the older warlock.

Magnus nodded and wiped away his son’s tears, cherishing the contact. He had spent months agonizing over this decision, the decision to cast the spell to remove not only his immortality, but also his magic. It was a death sentence. An almost immediate one based on Tessa and Callista’s research. The research they had found made it crystal clear that the moment his magic and immortality were pulled, his centuries would weigh down upon him all at once and in a blink he would age and ultimately perish. That they knew.

It was what came _after_ that they were unsure about.

Callista, the oldest of the warlock’s in the room, had found ancient texts about the trials Heaven had designed for fallen angels to attend in order to be granted access to Heaven. Asmodeus, Magnus’ father, had not attended them himself, but Callista had reason to believe that Heaven would allow Magnus to if they removed his demonic attributes. When his heart stopped beating, he would technically be a mortal…a human…and would be allowed to attend the trials for admission to Heaven. There was no doubt in Callista’s mind he would pass them and then be granted access to Heaven and ultimately to be reunited with his beloved.

The decision came hard to Callista, it really did. Though she did not love Magnus in the way she had loved her husband, she did still in fact love Magnus. Which was ultimately why she knew she had to try to exhaust every option of getting him reunited with Alec. When you love someone, you want them to be happy and she knew, down to her very core, it would make Magnus infinitely happy to join his husband and his oldest son. Yes, he would miss Max with every ounce of his being, but Magnus had lived his life and made his wonderful impact on this world, but his depression had appeared to becoming more than even he could handle. They had the chance to not only relieve that burden upon him, but to also give him back his love. None of them viewed it as suicide per se. Though he was going into this ritual eyes open to what the outcome would be, no one saw this as him taking his own life. It was quite literally the only shot he had to (hopefully) guarantee he would join Alec and Rafe.

When Magnus had sadly asked Callista if she was sure, both of them naked and curled around each other in her bed in the spare room, she had answered with a resounding yes. There was zero question about it. If Callista had even the smallest of chances to be reunited with her husband, she would latch onto it with both hands and never let go. She could hardly blame Magnus for wanting the same.

So here they were. On the 133rd anniversary of the death of Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane, inside the apartment of Magnus Lightwood-Bane, preparing for the ritual to remove Magnus’ immortality, his magic and ultimately prepare for his death.

“Blue, be sure, please Lilith, be 110% sure.” Magnus closed his eyes against the pain in his heart, willing himself to find some peace with his son’s words.

“I’m sure, papa.” Max nodded, wiping his tears and smiling gratefully to Callista, who was now standing next to him and rubbing his back. “If you die a warlock, you don’t have the option to join dad. This way, you can.”

“I can’t go if you will hate me for this.” Magnus choked out, thankful to Tessa’s strong presence next to him. “I cannot leave you behind –“

“You’ll do it, papa. I know you will. You and dad are unstoppable together. Heaven won’t know what hit it.” Max snorted out despite his tears, giving Magnus a cheeky smile.

The “it” Max was referring to was the hell Magnus planned to raise once he was granted access to the pearly gates. The thing was, it was grossly unfair that when warlock’s died, they didn’t get to go to Heaven. Or even Hell for that matter. Warlock’s just ceased to exist. Their humanity not granting them immediate access to Hell without a tainted soul to assist in that and their demonic side not grating them immediate access to Heaven because…well…demon. Warlock’s who lived as good people and didn’t commit horrific sins suffered the cruel fate of just ceasing to be at all. Magnus was unsure where the souls exactly went, but he knew one thing for sure and that was the entire thing was bullshit. If Heaven insisted upon being purists, then they should at _least_ give warlock’s some type of middle ground, a new Heaven for them. For good people who had no choice in how they were born, but chose to live good lives despite their parentage. One that people from Heaven could visit too and possibly even choose to live so mortals or Nephilim could be reunited with their warlock loved ones and friends. It would give Callista a chance to someday be reunited with her husband. It would give Tessa a chance to reunite with her loved ones. It would give Alec and Magnus and Rafael, someday, hopefully many, many centuries from now, a chance to reunite Max. It would give the universe some damn equal footing because Magnus was quite frankly done with the hypocrisy that ruled the angels and their kin.

So he had plans. _Big plans_. Once he and Alexander had their (hopefully steamy) reunion, Magnus would explain his goals to him and together they would raise some serious hell in Heaven to get justice for those who deserved it. He wasn’t just giving up his magic and immortality for Alec and himself, he was doing it for all warlocks.

“I swear on my very soul I will not stop until Heaven gives.” Magnus whispered passionately, eyes flitting between his son and his 2 friends. “You have my word.”

“I’m holding you to it.” Callista winked with a small smile.

Magnus nodded and looked to Tessa, wrapping her tightly in a hug and pulling her close so the others could not overhear him.

“Please, _please_ , look after them.” He whispered through the tears that had once again begun falling. Though he was excited, a huge part of his heart was breaking at the idea of never seeing these amazing people again. Of never seeing his _son_ again. He missed his eldest son, Rafael, with suffocating intensity, but Magnus had always found peace in knowing that Rafael had joined Alec in Heaven and he was being looked after. They didn’t know what would happen to Magnus for certain after he passed away and it terrified Magnus to think of Max all alone. Grown warlock or not, Max would forever be their little blueberry and Magnus and Alec both were fiercely loyal to their family.

“I will. Until we can all be reunited with you.” Tessa whispered back fiercely.

Magnus pulled back from Tessa and reached towards Callista, the Greek woman falling into his arms so easily. He buried his face in her hair and took several deep breaths, committing her scent to memory. To give him something to hold onto so he could remember exactly who he was fighting for once he made it.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” He trembled in her sturdy arms.

“You deserve to be happy, Magnus, latch onto it with everything you have and never let go.” Callista pulled back from him and smiled at him, a truly happy and content smile. “If you can spare a moment to –“

“I swear he’s the first one I’m looking for after Alexander.” Magnus interrupted knowing exactly what she was requesting. “I’ll let him know what we’re doing and I promise someday you two will be together again.”

Callista did not reply, instead choosing to lean forward and pressed her lips against Magnus’ own. The two lovers shared a passionate kiss, pouring their feelings that they could not put words to into the action. It was not even remotely arousing. More like closure and hope. Hope that someday all the persons standing in the very room would be reunited with the ones they have loved and lost. When Magnus pulled back, he felt ready. Ready to embark on the next adventure that would no doubt be the most exciting and terrifying one yet.

“Say hi to dad and Rafe for me.” Max smiled through his tears, still unable to stop crying. Magnus couldn’t blame him. Saying goodbye, possibly forever, is never an easy thing, but he had hope that Tessa and Callista would help his son get past his grief.

“I will, Blueberry. I promise.” Magnus gave Max one last affectionate pat on the cheek before nodding to Tessa.

Callista helped guide Max over to the couch, rubbing his back as the blue-skinned warlock sobbed. Magnus kept his eyes on his youngest while he took his position on the couch, lying down and dressed in an outfit that was an exact replica of the one he wore on his first date with his beloved Alexander. Magnus looked at the three faces watching back, each showing a different emotion. Tessa looked fearful, but resigned. Callista looked sad, but incredibly hopeful. Max, oh his poor little Blueberry, just looked stricken with grief. It was almost enough to push him to call it off, but the gentle shake of Max’s head prevented him from doing so. He understood. The risks were high, but this was his _only_ way of ever hoping to reunite with Alexander and change things for all warlocks.

“I love you all.” Magnus choked out, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. “Max, be good and make good choices. I will see you again, my son. This is not forever goodbye, you hear me?”

“Okay, papa.” Max sobbed, reaching down to hold Magnus’s hand.

“Okay, let’s begin.” Tessa sighed.

* * *

Magnus was not sure what to expect with regards to death. Perhaps seeing his life flash before his eyes. Or perhaps seeing those he loved and had passed surrounding him. Maybe even an out of body experience seeing his son and friends grieve his body. It was nothing like that. His death happened near instantaneously. In fact, he wasn’t even sure if his heart beat once after Tessa finished the incantation.

There was no pain. There was no suffering. It was easier than falling asleep. One moment he was lying in his apartment on the couch, hearing Tessa’s soothing voice between his son’s soft sobs and the next he was laying in an incredibly bright white room and was an endless sea of white. There were no walls or doors or even ceiling. Just…white.

“Hello, Magnus.”

Magnus turned his head to the left and frowned at the man standing there. He was shorter than himself, had brown hair and a short brown beard. He was also dressed in jeans, a plain worn in green t-shirt and white Converse shoes. In short, he had no freaking clue who this man was.

“Not what you expected?” The man chuckled, scratching at his beard. “Yeah, I hear that a lot.”

“Are you –“ Magnus trailed off with a raised brow, rising to his feet and looking the man up and down in interest.

“God?” The man supplied, sighing when Magnus nodded. “Yeah, but that’s such a…well, I prefer Chuck.”

“Chuck?” Magnus asked incredulously. “You are the creator of all and you go by Chuck?”

“Yeah.” Chuck nodded.

“Well, alright.” Magnus shrugged, still not hiding his interest in the place he was standing. It wasn’t a room. It wasn’t…well…anything. “Is this –“

“It’s not Heaven.” Chuck crossed his arms, taking on a rather defensive stance.

“Yes, I assumed as much. Would you be so kind as to tell me where I am?” Magnus crossed his own arms, looking at the shorter man with a raised brow and pursed lips.

“Uh…I don’t know. I hadn’t really come up with a name yet. It’s sort of a…” Chuck looked around with a slight frown, “I guess you could say sort of the skeleton structure for The Peace.”

“The Peace?” Magnus snorted. Oh how cliché was Heaven?

“Yeah, not sure on that name either.” Chuck chuckled. “You know your husband has been a right pain in my ass since he got here.”

“Alexander?” Magnus stiffened at the mention of his beloved.

“Yeah, you were only married once.” The shorter man snorted.

“What about him? Where is he? Can I see him?” Magnus felt almost short of breath which was funny seems he was now in fact dead.

“Uh, no, not yet.” Chuck smiled and put his hands out in a placating gesture when Magnus drew to his full height. “The trials?”

“Have I not done enough?” Magnus threw his arms out exasperatedly. “It is insane to me that I have to attend some trials simply because of the blood that within my veins. I did not choose to be born the son of a fallen angel! I did not choose to be a warlock! But I did choose to be a good man and to help others! I wasn’t perfect and I have made mistakes, but I have paid for those 10 times over.”

Chuck reared back as Magnus’ voice steadily rose until he was yelling, his voice echoing in the white void they stood in.

“Wow. You two are really made for each other.” Chuck whispered to himself, eyes wide in surprise.

“Your beloved children,” Magnus sneered, unable to hide his distaste, “persecuted and slaughtered my people simply because of how they were born! And yet you claim they should be allowed into the gates because of what? Their blood? Look at their hands!! Look at the havoc they have wrought all in the name of _you_!”

“Uh yeah –“ Chuck swallowed nervously, slightly stepping back as Magnus paced angrily in front of him. “So, -“

“How could you claim to be such a divine being and yet allow people like Valentine into Heaven and yet deny wonderful people like Caterina and all because of her blood?” Magnus choked on the thought of Cat and Ragnor and all the others he lost along the way. “How is that justice? How can you stand here and claim to be a good man and yet allow that to happen?”

“They’re here!” Chuck yelled quickly, cutting off Magnus’ agony.

“What?” Magnus gasped, looking around as though they would manifest.

“Well, not here, here.” Chuck shook his head quickly as though willing thoughts away. “They’re in The Empty right now, but they’re going to be moved here once we finish The Peace.”

“What?” Magnus asked again, confused as to what exactly was going on.

“Valentine, by the way, is in Hell, where he belongs.” Chuck looked at Magnus with furrowed brows and a slight frown. “I’m not an entirely unjust God.” He ignored Magnus’ snort. “I held the Nephilim to the same standard as my other children. If they sinned, they pay for those sins. I gave them all free will, what they did with that is on them.”

“What is this?” Magnus’ shoulders slumped and he suddenly felt very tired. He just wanted to do the stupid trials and wrap himself around Alec and lose a few days in the bedroom. They didn’t need to eat now did they? Or sleep? Oh…that was going to be fun. Hopefully Alec’s stamina rune still worked because he was keen on using that to –

“Ahem.” Chuck cleared his throat awkwardly, his cheeks rosy with a blush. Magnus raised his brow in question. “Yeah, you’re not in Heaven so I can sort of hear your thoughts and don’t get me wrong, so glad you’re excited to see him, but yeah, if you could keep your thoughts PG, I’d appreciate it.”

Magnus sniffed in response, unwilling to be embarrassed or even bashful, not even for God himself.

“So yeah, this is The Peace.” Chuck’s nose went up as though he smelled something bad, “Yeah, we’ll settle on a new name, but anyway, this is where children who have demonic blood, but were good people go after they die. I can’t let them into Heaven. I’m sorry. I’ll admit I made mistakes in how that was designed, but this is Heaven adjacent and anyone from Heaven can enter and even stay.”

“Why now?” Magnus gasped. “Why after all this time create it now?”

“Your husband?” Chuck chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah, so he was real pissed when he got here and let me tell you, all my children are amazing in their own ways, but Alexander Lightwood,” Chuck shrugged. “Kinda scares me.”

“God is scared of Alexander Gideon Lightwood-BANE?” Magnus asked, emphasizing the hyphenated last name Chuck had left off.

“So maybe not him personally, but what he can do when he sets his mind to it? A little.” Chuck admitted. “There are very few really just good hearted people anymore and here was this warrior for Heaven finally given his reward and he all but turned his nose up to it demanding a meeting with me. I have a council and all, but no, he wanted to speak to me. And when I gave him audience, he just railed against me and my treatment of the children of fallen angels.”

Magnus smiled softly, eyes filling with tears and heart overflowing with love.

“He reminded me that even I can make a mistake and that punishing people for just existing was one of them. I had never really thought about it like that.” Chuck looked down at his feet and it almost made Magnus feel for the man, he looked so lost. “He reminded me that if I had not wanted half-mortal, half-demon children to exist then I should have made that impossible, but since I hadn’t, I owed it to them to give them their reward too.”

“Alexander.” Magnus whispered lovingly, closing his eyes and imagining his beautiful husband arguing with God himself about the rights of warlocks.

“I’ll admit I don’t really like people questioning me and part of me wanted to smite him and blast him about the universe, but I didn’t.” Chuck raised his hands when Magnus looked at him with a hard glare. “He was right. So we got to work on this. We’re hoping to finish it very soon and then once we do, I’ll move all the warlock souls from the Empty to here and it’ll work much like Heaven. Each warlock who lived a good life will get their own sort of utopia.”

“So our son, Max, -“ Magnus’s voice died, choked with emotion.

“As long as he lived a good life as a good person, he’ll be allowed entry here.”

Magnus’ knees gave out and he fell to them, bending over as the relief exhausted him. He had prepared himself for a battle, but his beloved Alexander had apparently already done that for him. Magnus cried in relief, his entire body trembling as the reality of it all fell upon him.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Chuck whispered, patting Magnus’ back.

“Can I see him? Please? Even just a glimpse.” Magnus pleaded through the tears. “I’ll do whatever trials I have to, but please just let me see my husband.”

Chuck nodded with a small smile and waved his hand. Much like Magnus used to be able to create portals, the white nothingness in front of him shimmered away and a scene came into view. Alexander stood clad in his classic all black, talking to Jace and Izzy and a few others that Magnus did not recognize, but he didn’t care. They were inside some room that looked much like the institute and Alexander, frozen forever at what appeared to be his mid-40’s, gave them directions. Jace and Izzy looked much younger than they had been when they passed which surprised Magnus.

“Why is Alexander aged and they are not?” He asked, curious.

“Everyone picks their Heaven and their age so to speak. Alec chose to appear 45. Not sure why, he had much thicker hair in his youth.” Chuck cocked his head to the side as though considering it.

Magnus laughed despite himself. He knew exactly why Alec had picked that age.

“Oh, but isn’t it obvious?” Magnus chuckled. “He’s such a silver fox.”

Chuck frowned and looked at Magnus with a chastising expression.

“Okay, sorry.” Magnus inclined his head apologetically. “Can we please get on with the trials. I am desperate to see my husband and my eldest son.”

Chuck nodded and stood up, offering his hand to Magnus to help the man stand. Once Magnus was standing, Chuck held his hands out, palms up as though expecting Magnus to place something in them. Magnus raised his brow.

“Your hands.” Chuck smiled and held out his hands expectantly. Magnus placed his own in Chuck’s hands and gasped when he felt a slight electric shock. “Yeah, sorry, forgot about that.”

Magnus merely glared in response, unimpressed at having not been told.

“So, yeah, this is pretty straight forward.” Chuck took a deep breath and then looked into Magnus’ eyes. “Do you reject your father and his teachings and ways?”

“Yes.” Magnus answered honestly and without hesitation.

“Okay, we’re good.” Chuck smiled and dropped Magnus’ hands.

“That’s it?” Magnus scoffed.

“Yeah.” Chuck nodded with a small smile. “I already know you lived a good life, it’s all up here.” He tapped his temple. “And you can’t lie, not to me, so as long as you reject the demonic side of you, you’re as human as the others who were let into Heaven.”

“So I’m not a warlock?” Magnus asked, hating the small unpleasant slump he felt in his stomach.

“I’m sorry, but no.” Chuck smiled apologetically. “The ritual you did before you died took that away, but you are human now so you can enter Heaven.”

Magnus nodded, but did not speak. Instead he chose to remain silent and give himself a few moments to collect his thoughts. Though he had always hated his father, his magic was a gift and one he valued. To now spend eternity without it felt as though he had left something behind.

“When you’re ready, I can take you to him.” Chuck gently interrupted his thoughts with a knowing expression. “I know he’s ready for you.”

“Does he know?” Magnus whispered.

“No.” Chuck shook his head. “I didn’t know if you planned to follow through and we don’t really allow those who have entered Heaven to look upon their loved ones. We find it usually makes it worse for them.”

“I’m ready.” Magnus nodded, carefully checking over his outfit and once he was content offering Chuck a smile. “Please take me to him.”

Chuck nodded and held out his hand to Magnus, the former warlock taking it immediately.

* * *

Much like dying, Magnus found traveling within Heaven to be instant. One moment he was standing in a white void and the next he was inside an impressive room that looked much like a library. Standing around a long dark wood table was Alexander, at the head, then Jace and Izzy to his left. Clary and Rafe stood opposite Jace and Izzy. They looked to be deep in conversation so Magnus took the moment to observe them. Rafe looked to be in his 20’s again. Gone was the grey hair he had in his later years and it appeared the injury that had cost him his life, a large gash to his neck, was not even a scar. Clary, Jace and Izzy all looked to be in their late teens or early 20’s. All three were young and had no wrinkles and looked like the same irresponsible Shadowhunters that came barreling into his life all those years ago. Alexander though, his beautiful Alexander, had not chosen to live out eternity in his youth. He had instead chosen his mid-40’s, the age at which Magnus found him to be absolutely irresistible. His hair was slightly thinner and it was nearly all salt and pepper, but his body was still ever strong and defined and Magnus would be lying if he said that the Deflect rune didn’t still do things to him.

“I don’t care, Jace, this is my son and husband we’re talking about. Get on your team and get it done.” Alexander’s stern voice drew Magnus from his thoughts. Ever the leader his beautiful Shadowhunter was.

Magnus was so caught up in the mesmerizing sight of his beloved that he missed that Rafael had sensed him and had looked over to see him, his brown eyes wide in surprise.

“Dad.” Rafe interrupted his arm reaching over to try to get Alec’s attention, but his dad ignoring him in favor of yelling at Jace. “Dad!”

“Rafe, what is it?” Alec sighed, looking over at his son and furrowing his brows to see his son was not even looking at him.

“Papa?” Rafe whispered, his voice hoarse.

“Hello, Rafe.” Magnus smiled gently and barely had time to prepare himself before his son ran at him with breathless speed and wrapped himself in Magnus’ arms.

“Papa!” Rafe gasped, body trembling in shock. “You’re here!”

“I’m here, Rafe.” Magnus soothed his son, but his eyes never leaving Alec’s beautiful blue.

Alec stood still, his body ramrod straight and eyes wide in shock.

Clary, Jace and Izzy all slowly approached Magnus and hugged him from the side not wanting to dislodge Rafe, though Jace’s was rather short and more like a hearty pat on the back, but Alexander, his beloved husband, stood in shock. Only when Rafe had finally released his death grip did his husband finally move.

With a determined expression, Alec strode across the way and closed the distance between them. Magnus braced himself for a hug that rivaled his son’s in strength, but what he was not prepared for was for Alec to actually knock him over with his strength. Magnus let out a squeak in surprise and braced for a hard thud against the floor, but one did not come. Instead, Magnus landed on a soft bed with a slight bounce. He had half a mind to push his beloved away to question where they were, but instead opted to wrap his arms around his Shadowhunter and reconnect. The location was irrelevant. All that mattered was the solid body pressed against his.

* * *

Magnus had never felt so content in his life. Alec was lying on his side, head resting on Magnus’ bare chest, fingers idly drawing what Magnus knew to be runes while Magnus took a moment to take it all in. They were in their bed, in their room, in what Magnus knew, despite having yet to leave the room, was their apartment in Brooklyn. This was Alec’s Heaven. His Heaven was the home he had with Magnus and the home they created for their boys. He knew that he should not have been surprised, but somehow he was. When their lips had finally parted to allow them to practically rip clothes off one another, Magnus took a split second to glance around to ensure they were not still in the library and had found the oxygen sucked from his lungs. For a brief split second, he feared that it had all been a dream, but then Alec had leaned down and kissed Magnus so intensely and deeply that Magnus knew no way could a dream ever replicate. Warlock or not, his dreams were never _that_ good.

Magnus didn’t know how long he and his beloved husband had been wrapped up in one another, he was assuming hours at least. It was hard to tell because in Alec’s Heaven, it was the early hours of the morning and the sun was barely illuminating their room. Before the boys, Magnus and Alec had been intimate whenever the moment struck them. Morning, afternoon, evening, sometimes all three. After their boys though, they tended to favor the very early mornings before the boys would awake. In the evenings, they were just too tired from the day, so just before Alec would get out to bed to go for a morning run to the Institute, Alec and Magnus would get lost in one another and start their day the best way they knew how. It was always perfect and wonderful and Magnus savored the perfection in the moment. He knew it had to be because it was what Alec had wanted seems he passed away at dusk and there was no way more than a few hours had passed.

 “Magnus, how?” Alec’s soft voice finally broke the silence, drawing Magnus’ focus to his gorgeous husband.

 “A spell.” Magnus sighed, resting his hand atop Alec’s on his chest and eyes mapping every feature on Alec. “Tessa helped.”

“Max?” Alec’s lashes blinked rapidly, but Magnus did not miss the shimmer that he knew was reflected in his own eyes. He knew how much he missed Max and it had only been hours. He could not imagine how much Alec missed him. It had to have been with the same intensity that Magnus had been missing Rafael.

“He was there.” Magnus cleared his throat, willing the lump that had formed in his throat to shrink. “He’s a brilliant warlock, Alexander. So smart and, know this pains me to admit, better at potions than myself.”

Alec let out a watery chuckle and Magnus smiled gently, glad his small joke had the desired effect.

“He’s close to his cousins and especially with Rafe’s descendants. I joked with him that he might as well become a Shadowhunter with how often he is at the Institute helping them.”

Alec nodded against Magnus’ chest and closed his eyes tightly, tears beading on his lashes despite his best attempt to hold them back. Magnus squeezed Alec closer, kissing the top of his head.

“Does he remember me?” The question was whispered so softly that Magnus had almost missed it.

“Oh, Alexander.” Magnus sighed as he shifted on the bed so he was now lying next to his husband, his left hand wiping at the tears that were falling while his right arm was trapped beneath Alec’s head. “He remembers you every day, my love. You do not need to fear because your memory lives on very strongly in him. A year ago your little Blueberry and I had a falling out and didn’t talk for months because of how much he loves and misses you.”

“What?” Alec’s eyes shot open and he looked as though Magnus had just punched him in the stomach with how breathless and agonized his expression was. “Why?!”

“It’s unimportant, Alexander, what’s important is that we mended things and I’m here now. He was there when I passed and he fully supported my decision to let go of my warlock side so I could join you here.” Magnus tried to smile to show he held no sadness over losing his magic, but he knew he failed. Alec raised his hand and cup Magnus’ cheek and the two men pulled together like magnets, their foreheads resting together.

No additional words were spoken because there were none to be said. Magnus would miss being a warlock and they both knew that. Magnus had desperately wanted to join his beloved and be able to make a real change to benefit all warlocks and he would never regret the cost he had to pay, but he could not deny that there was grief over the part of himself that he lost. He had never liked Asmodeus and there were times he cursed his own parentage, but with time had come acceptance and Magnus had grown to accept himself and ultimately love himself as he was. Losing his magic was much like losing a limb. He could go on without it, but there would always be that feeling of absence that hopefully would dull with time.

* * *

“Alexander, how difficult is it to locate people here?” Magnus asked over his shoulder, watching with soft eyes as his husband dressed himself so they could visit with Rafael. It was amusing and comforting to see his beloved still have no fashion sense favoring his simple black attire.

“Pretty easy, actually. Especially if you know their full name and their date of birth and date of death.” Alec replied, shrugging on his ill-fitting faded black sweater. Sue him, it had been his most comfortable piece of clothing when he was alive and that still held true even in death.

“I need to find someone, for a – “ Magnus trailed off with a sigh, looking at Alec with a somewhat guilty expression. “friend.”

“Friend?” Alec snorted in amusement.

“She was. A wonderful friend and one to whom I owe my reunion with you in Heaven to.” Magnus crossed his arms across his chest internally at war with himself. He felt guilt over talking about Callista with Alec, his husband, but he had given her his word and he owed it to her to find Kristos. After everything Callista had done for him, beyond the spell, just by being a friend and companion, he had to do this for her.

“Hey, I wasn’t poking fun.” Alec replied with a calm and serious expression. “We’ll find whoever you want to, you don’t need to explain. Not to me.”

“We were companions.” Magnus clenched his eyes shut, his voice a pained whisper. He didn’t want to hurt Alec by talking about the people he had been intimate with after Alec’s death, but he knew someday Callista would take her place in her Heaven and he would want to see her and he needed to be honest with Alec about that. “There were no men after you, there never could be. No one compared to you, Alexander, no one would ever measure up. She was…is…a warlock. She had been married to a mundane man and she understood my pain and we found some peace together and I…I-“

“Hey.” Alec interrupted softly, wrapping a now crying Magnus in his arms and hugging him tightly. “I told you to, babe. I told you to find someone and I’m so glad you did.”

Magnus pulled away and looked at Alec incredulously. Magnus loved Alexander to Edom and back, but he knew that there was no way his husband would be happy to know he was intimate with other people. Hell, it had been a real issue in the very early stages of their relationship knowing that Magnus had an entire fun-filled past before the Shadowhunter.

“I don’t want to hear the details.” Alec admitted with a shrug. “I mean, I don’t want to hear that at all, but I wanted you to find some peace and happiness after me and I’m glad you did. I never wanted you to be miserable and alone. Never.”

Magnus felt the guilty vice that had closed around his heart release and couldn’t help, but grab Alec by the face and kissing him passionately.

“Thank you.” Magnus whispered against Alec’s lips when the two men finally pulled apart.

“No thanks, needed.” Alec smiled easily and placed a quick chaste kiss on Magnus’ lips before pulling away to put his shoes on. Magnus watched his husband lovingly, completely entranced watching Alec do simple things realizing just how much he had missed this. The passion with Alec had always been amazing, that was undeniable, but Alec was the first and only person he had ever developed a real true domestic life with. The first and only person he ever wanted to and seeing Alec do something as mundane as swearing quietly while struggling with his boot laces gave Magnus a comfort he had not realized he was missing. Or more like, he _forgot_ he was missing.

“You’re beautiful.” Magnus choked out past the emotion that was suddenly closing his throat and overwhelming him. Death was truly the most exhausting roller coaster of emotions.

“You look in a mirror recently?” Alec snorted and shot Magnus a cheeky half-smile that dropped almost as quickly as it appeared when he saw the pure, raw emotion that was written all over his husband’s face. “Magnus?”

“You’re so beautiful, Alexander, and I have missed you so much and I just realized now how much I had forgot,” Magnus looked down at the floor, shame and pain flooding him, “how much I forgot what this all meant to me. How could I forget?”

“Hey.” Alec stood uncaring that only one foot was secured in a boot and wrapped Magnus in a tight hug once more. “I get it, babe, I do.”

“How? You meant… _mean_...everything to me, how could I forget what this all felt like?” Magnus’ whisper was agonized while his hands clutched at Alec’s faded black sweater with such intensity he was surprised it didn’t come apart in his very hands.

“Magnus, I was gone for over 100 years. I get it. I’m not mad. I don’t expect you to remember the stupid mundane details of our time –“

“They weren’t stupid!” Magnus barked, pulling away from Alec and looking at his husband. “They were everything to me. Don’t you see that? _You_ were everything to me and I forgot. I forgot what this felt like. I forgot how your half smile makes my stomach flutter or how utterly adorable you are when you struggle with the knots on your boots. I –“

“Did exactly what I wanted you to.” Alec interrupted sternly, his hands coming to rest on his hips and his face serious. “I wanted you to move on and try to find a life after me, Magnus. You think I’m so selfish that I wanted you to live in misery after I died and remember every little detail? You think _I_ remember every single detail?”  

“I…I –“ Magnus stuttered, unable to form a sentence. His mind and emotions were at war with each other inside him and it was suffocating.

“I don’t, Magnus. I can’t remember the smell of your favorite tea or ringtone that I had assigned to you on my phone. I can’t remember the name of that dumb Christmas movie you always made us watch or the color of our couch when I died.” Alec ran his hands through his hair further disheveling it. “The small details, they’re gone and I can’t seem to get them back and I get what you’re feeling because I beat myself up every single time I realized something else was gone.”

“Alexander – “ Magnus stepped forward, grabbing his husband’s hands and holding them tightly.

“But I remember you.” Alec looked directly into Magnus’ eyes and Magnus couldn’t help but smile at the love that was so clear in them. “I remember what you wore on our first date, I remember the vows you said when we finally got married. I remember our first kiss and the first night we had Max and the first Christmas we had after Rafael joined our family.”

Alec raised his right hand, dragging Magnus’ left hand up to his chest and pressing it against his solid body, allowing Magnus to feel the drum of his heart.

“You and Rafael and Max are seared into my very soul and that’s what is important. I don’t have to remember it all; I just have to remember that. We can do it all again, Magnus. We can figure it out again. We -”

Magnus reached up with his free hand and wiped the tear that managed to escape Alec’s determined blue eyes.

“We can fall in love again.” Magnus supplied when it became clear Alec was struggling with words.

“Yeah, we can fall in love again.” Alec smiled.

“Okay.” Magnus nodded and took the step to close the distance between them, wrapping his free arm around Alec’s waist. “That’s what we’ll do, darling.”

“Just please, don’t beat yourself up over this. I hate it when you do that.” Alec whispered against Magnus’ forehead before placing a small kiss there.

“Excuse me, but have you met yourself, darling?” Magnus snorted, raising a brow at Alec. “You are the king of –“

“Shut up.” Alec interrupted with a roll of his eyes, but the effect was lost by the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“By the way,” Magnus sighed, allowing his body to slump against Alec’s forcing the taller man to support him. “I love that you chose this age.”

“You always said you liked me like this.” Alec shrugged while simultaneously cursing his fair skin that he knew was pink with an embarrassed blush. “Do you, uh, want me to look younger?”

“Don’t you dare!” Magnus sternly replied. “You’re gorgeous at any age, but I do find you particularly attractive like this. Mature, confident, sexy –“

“Blushing.” Alec interrupted petulantly. “I thought we were going to find someone for your friend.”

Magnus narrowed his eyes slightly before shifting them and pushing Alec back so he fell directly on the bed.

“I think they can wait a little.”

* * *

It took 3 separate attempts at getting dressed before Magnus and Alec finally made it out of their bedroom, not that Magnus was particularly upset about that, but once he found that particular need sated (for now), he was very interested to explore Heaven and found it was nothing like he imagined. He had always envisioned Heaven to be a beautiful outdoors type of place. Perhaps a nice stream or a forest or even the cliché clouds, but it turned out Heaven was something else entirely. It was nothing that turned into whatever you wanted it to be.

Alec’s Heaven was their apartment in Brooklyn. The layout was the same and most of the apartment appeared to be the same as it had been when Alec had died, even down to the sounds of the city outside the windows. Because in Alec’s Heaven, there were windows that showed the same view they had in Brooklyn and when Magnus stepped out on their balcony, it was like being back in New York. People shuffled down below. Cars drove through the street. The skyline was there. He could even smell the exhaust. It was like stepping back in time and it was mind boggling. The only thing that Magnus did notice was though there were people, they didn’t appear to be real. When he playfully dropped a flower to test what would happen, it merely faded and disappeared a few feet before it would have landed seeming to not impact anything below. So Magnus tried a handful of dirt, same thing. Next went the entire planter and again, it faded until it disappeared.

“Hey! Up here!” Magnus yelled, waving his arms like a crazed man. No effect. Magnus considered it for a moment before opening his mouth to yell again. “Oh my god! It’s a spaceship!”

“Magnus, what are you doing?”

Magnus jumped at the amused voice behind him, finding Alec leaning against the doorway looking thoroughly entertained.

“They don’t react!” Magnus gestured to the street below them. “They’re there, but not.”

“Huh. I never noticed that.” Alec shrugged.

“Never noticed? Alexander, you’ve been in Heaven for 133 years and you’ve never noticed the people creating the ridiculous amount of noise are in fact not even real?” Magnus looked at Alec incredulously. Truly, how had something like that gone unnoticed?

“Didn’t really seem important.” Alec shrugged again and then held up a piece of paper. “Got the information you needed for your friend. Do you want to go there first or go see Rafe?”

“Kristos.” Magnus quickly responded, his face turning serious and slightly pensive. “He needs to know what you’ve done so he knows that eventually he can join his wife if he wishes.”

Alec nodded with a soft smile and reached his hand forward, palm up, welcoming Magnus’ hand into his own. Neither of them felt the need to comment on the content sigh that Magnus let out at the action.

* * *

Death was nothing like life. Time moved in such a way it was impossible for Magnus to actually know how much time had passed since his death. Like he guessed, they didn’t need to eat or drink or sleep, though they could and Magnus was relieved when Alec had said he preferred to. It wasn’t that he wanted to live the illusion of being alive; Magnus just needed some sort of normalcy to adapt because death was absolutely the most emotional experience of his existence.

One moment he would be happy and content and then he would look over at his eldest son to see him smiling and Magnus would be overcome with sadness and longing for Max. There were times he would turn to tell his little Blueberry something funny and realize Max wasn’t there and it would break his heart. Or he would find something in a text and want to tell Tessa, but she wasn’t there. Alec had been patient and a steady presence, forcing Magnus to get up out of bed and have some tea or suggest they go for a walk. It didn’t matter if Magnus scoffed at him and reminded him they were dead and there was no point, Alec would just give Magnus that same determined expression and force the issue until Magnus relented. Magnus appreciated that Alec did it because truly, keeping focused on small steps made the unknown passage of time easier until it no longer felt suffocating.

It only felt like weeks after his death when Chuck and his team finished work on the Heaven for warlocks and Magnus’ time was filled with emotional reunions with Caterina and Ragnor and the others he had lost over his long life. He was still visiting with them, feeling like only hours had passed, when he felt a tug in his heart. Alec showed up a blink later to tell him that Callista Makos had arrived in her Heaven. Magnus thanked every possible deity again when Alec did not show any anger or jealousy when Magnus told him he wanted to see her. He _needed_ to. Alec had just nodded with a smile and told Magnus how to get there and then Magnus found himself standing before a very tearful Callista.

His reunion with Callista was emotional, but in no way sexual. They hugged, they cried, but there were no kisses to be had until Alec arrived a few moments later with Kristos. As expected, almost the second Kristos and Callista reconnected, Magnus and Alec found themselves standing back in their own apartment, laughing when they realized they had been booted out of Callista’s Heaven. Not that Magnus could blame her, he would have forcibly evicted anyone from his presence when he first reconnected with his husband if Alec hadn’t done it for them.

It was surprising to Magnus though when Callista and her husband sent word they wished to see Alec and Magnus both as the men were sitting down for their dinner. Magnus wasn’t sure he would ever get used to Heaven and how it worked because when Magnus teased Callista that he had expected days to pass before she sent word, Callista and Kristos both looked confused and stated it had been over a week for them. Alec, much to Magnus’ surprise, seemed totally unmoved by this, but then, he had also had time to get used to it. It confused Magnus because Alec had never been one to want to be immortal, but appeared to be adjusting to this afterlife with remarkable ease whereas Magnus continually felt like he was struggling. The passage of time was breathtaking to him. What felt like months had actually been many years as Callista had died over 113 years after Magnus.

The revelation had been shocking to say the least. 

Callista was her ever patient and kind self, offering drinks and a light dessert to her guests while politely ignoring Alec’s possessive hand on Magnus’ upper thigh, positioned towards his inner thigh enough that it was toeing the line of appropriate in mixed company. It appeared that though his husband had said he wanted Magnus to be happy and find someone else, apparently when faced with the presence of that someone for longer than a few minutes, Alec’s understanding only went so far. Not that Magnus minded. He rather enjoyed having his sexy, sophisticated husband pawing at him especially since it wasn’t done unkindly. Alec was polite to Callista and Kristos, but definitely was making his point clear that Magnus was no longer an option, which Callista accepted with a small smile and wink towards them. Alec had nothing to worry about, to be honest. Now that Magnus was reunited with him, he had no desires for anyone else and Callista clearly only had sights on her husband, but Magnus wasn’t a stupid man. He would reap the benefits of a slightly jealous Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane and maybe even help stir that fire if only to enjoy the intensity of his husband in their private moments that followed their visit.

With dessert and drinks served, Callista offered the men updates on the Institute, the world and most importantly, Max. Magnus and Alec both felt relief that Max was not only doing well, he was doing great. He was the High Warlock of Brooklyn, something Magnus was incredibly proud of, and had adopted an abandoned baby girl warlock who he had named Alexandra Grace Lightwood-Bane. Alec didn’t even attempt to hide his tears when Callista smiled at him and confirmed what both the men had been thinking, that Max had named his new daughter after his dad. Magnus and Alec laughed and felt lighter while Callista happily shared stories with them about Max and Lexie, who turned out to be even more of a troublemaker than her blue-skinned father. It was something that gave Magnus much joy because Max had truly been their most exhausting and trouble making child especially when he would portal himself away while being lectured. 

There had been no surprise though when Callista confirmed that Max still had yet to settle down with someone. Max had always been more independent and had never really shown any interest in being in an romantic entanglement, unlike Rafe who had given both men headaches daily with his flirty personality and ever changing relationships that left a string of broken hearts in his wake. Max had never said it and Magnus never felt the need to push even as Max aged past 100, but he was pretty sure that Max was asexual and aromantic. It never mattered to Magnus or Alec because as long as he was happy, they didn’t care if he never got married or “settled down” and Callista assured them with a wide smile that Max was happy. He missed them and talked about them all the time, but he was happy with his life and his daughter. While he may not be suited for romantic relationships, apparently fatherhood was a role he took to like a duck to water and it calmed the ache in Magnus and Alec’s hearts to know their little Blueberry was happy and that someday, they would see him again. 

The afterlife moved on, the passage of time blurred and no longer relevant because Magnus had finally found peace with his new existence. He even found that he had stopped missing his magic, but he figured that was more due to how Heaven worked. You just willed something into existence. Sure, he missed the flair and sparks, but that was only a part of his identity and not something he felt defined him. And really, he didn’t regret the price he paid to be with his family again. Even if he would have arrived in Paradise (named so because Chuck had veto’d Bane-land rather vehemently and both Alec and Magnus had argued strongly against The Peace) eventually, he didn’t regret that he made the choice to remove his magic for not only Alec, but also his son, friends and all the warlocks that would come. In his eyes, it was a small price to be paid. He was finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure, this chapter was almost a jump in rating because who doesn't love some Malec smut, but I decided to keep it Teen for those of you who read the first part and want to read the conclusion, but have no interest reading that particular part. I am considering a companion fic to this that would basically retell this chapter with the sexy details left off for rating reasons. Let me know how many of you want it. :)


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